Jess's story
by RoryReneeMercedees
Summary: A book. Jess needs to write a book. One that speaks to the soul. So why not tell the story of Jess and Rory. But something he thinks is over, might not be. With Lorelai coming to see him, Rory's letter, & visits from everyone in between its hard to tel
1. Chapter 1

AN: I love Rory and Jess but I'm in a depressed mood and I can't watch Titanic so I'm writing this instead

**AN: I love Rory and Jess but I'm in a depressed mood and I can't watch Titanic so I'm writing this instead. If you have read my other stories I will update soon it just, the next chapters are going to happy and well I need a sad one to numb the pain. So here is Jess's POV on, well, everything starts off after Rory leaves his bookstore and ends back in the past? Maybe I'll write more and make it happy but right now be prepared to her the truth. Rory and Jess do not end up together. I know horrible, right? So here it is: what happened to Jess. How did he get to where he is? We all know it was because of Rory. But here are some more details. Also listen to the song only one by Yellowcard while reading this. It kinda fits. Ok so basically it's gonna start off with his life and anything you may need to know then it will end with a chapter in his new book. Maybe in the end Rory will get and there will be a happy ending. maybe. Hopefully I will be in a better mood then, otherwise he will have one depressing life and Jess doesn't deserve that. He needs a happy ending to make up for his not so great life. **

_Despite all the bad, I love him. _

Those words teared me apart. Did she say that about me, all those years ago? When I left her at age 18? Did she go, even though he's left me, I love him? Did she wonder what would have happened if she went with me, that time when we were 19? Did she regret that we didn't have our happy ending?

And here's the cold hard truth. No. No matter what I want to believe, the answer will always be no. She's better off without me. Without her I'm bitter, my heart is cold. It can not be numb, it always feels pain. It can not be healed, I will always love her. I don't deserve her. Sometimes I wish she would just tell me she hates me. Tell me she wants me to die. That maybe I could do without feeling guilty. I'm not stupid. I know she still cares, she just doesn't care for me the way I care for her. She used and I screwed up the best thing in my life.

As I was contemplating everything Matt and Chris walked in.

"Dude, you gonna write another story? I think you should. You need something that has passion. Something that speaks to the people. Describe real life. You always say 'life doesn't always end with happily ever after'. Prove it, man. We need you to write another novel and this one has to be a best seller." He looked at me. One thing I liked about Matt and Chris was they spoke the truth they told you it no matter how much it hurt. So you could improve. I nodded and said I would work on it.

I began to wonder what I should write about. Then it hit me. Real life. No happily ever after. Heartbrakes. Life. Fights. Real stuff. Why did that sound so familiar? I had lived it. It was my past and my future. My story would be my life. And only a few people would understand it. Rory being the main person. She would understand everything. She was meant for me. Whether or not, she was meant for me was a different story.

I opened my lap top and my fingers began to type. Letters formed words, words formed sentences, sentences would become paragraphs, and those paragraphs would eventually become a story.

I wrote the preface within 15 minutes.

_Preface_

_I entered the room and from that moment on I was no longer a boy. I had become a man. I faced seeing her with another man. It was the hardest thing. I knew it was my fault, though. I was the one who screwed up. _

_I sucked in my breath and tried to control my temper. But this guy was a jerk. She deserved better than this. He was testing me. He knew it, too. He knew I was getting mad. But yet he kept going. He's lucky I don't try to fight him. He may be my size but I could take him single handedly. _

_I tried to control my temper but I got up and left. She followed me. I knew she would. She was going to stick up for her boyfriend. She was going to tell me, he wasn't always like that. I sighed. I knew he way to well. But yet, I wouldn't want it any other way. It would tear me apart if I didn't know her. I would still be that boy I was. Stealing, lying, shutting out the whole world. _

_Seeing her with someone else made me finally face the music. She had moved on. She one never show up my doorstep and tell me she wants me back. She would never ask me to come back to her. I knew I would always love her. I knew that I finally understood the meaning of life. I finally got what those church homilies about love meant. It meant you love no matter what. It is not something you choose. If you hate everyone and everything than you love to hate. _

_I finally got it. This is life. I always secretly hoped than out of the blue. Hell, maybe even out of a pumpkin, my fairy godmother would show up and give me another chance. Seeing her with him made me realize it would never be that way. I would always be alone. I would always love her and she would never love me again. I understood. It was the way it was. I had messed it up and there was no way to fix it. _

_I left after yelling at her, telling her how she had screwed up her life and how it wasn't her. I told her the truth. She needed to change it before it got to bad. She could still fix it. She would fix it. I knew she would. She walked back inside. To her boyfriend. To her life without me. And once again my heart shattered into a million pieces. But, hey I'm used to it and I simply continued to walk away. After all that's what I'm the best at. _

_I thought I was walking away from her for the last time. I was probably right. I would never get to leave in my dramatic way ever again. I had finally faced the music. It didn't mean I liked it but I had finally done it. It was life and it was done with. _

**AN: should I continue? Does it suck?? Should it end happily? What do you think of it? Is it ok? I think I know how it should end. Should I wait to write this until I finish my other stories? Or do you think I can handle three? Answer these questions please!!**


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hello my lovely readers, whom I love sooooo much

**AN: Hello my lovely readers, whom I love sooooo much. This weekend I realized how I don't appreciate you guys enough. Well, I love you guys with a burning passion. Well maybe not with a burning passion cause that's creepy but...**

**Alright I'm rewriting this my way. I'm rewriting this my way because I really didn't like those chapters. If you guys want I can write two options but if you just want me to write than I will. Ok, thank you if you reviewed or if you simply just read. Here it goes tell me what you think.**

After writing the introduction Jess fell asleep. When he woke up the next morning he was very tired and very depressed. He looked very sad and even Matt and Chris noticed.

'So much for those emotional walls. I thought nobody could read me but now everyone can read me. What has she done to me. I mean I wrote a book because of her. I got a steady job. I made something with my life. It was all for her but now I wonder why? I know why I fell for her. God if the Jess that I was when I was 16 saw this he would hate me. Maybe that's a good thing. I don't hate myself anymore. I don't hate my life. I don't hate the world anymore. I have simply just learned things are the way they are and there is nothing I can do to change it. But that's not what I would say I would say that I could change it if I wanted to but then I would never change it.'

"Hey Marino? You gonna work or you gonna stand there?" Chris yelled.

"Chris, I just got an idea for my next chapter in the book I started last night. I got to go write it down before I forget it." Jess said.

"Go, dude." Jess turned and began to walk up the stairs, "And I want to read it when you have most of it done." He yelled up.

He walked upstairs and walked up to his laptop. He was just about to start typing when Matt sat down next to him.

"Hey I found this downstairs." He handed Jess and envelope. "I think that chick that you were talking to left it."

Jess decided to open that. It read:

_Dear Jess,_

_I am terribly sorry for the way I have treated you and I want to make it up to you. I just don't know how. I also wanted to thank you for making me fix everything- well almost everything. I'm so proud of you. I remember when you were seventeen and you said that you were going to eat and sleep out of your car and going to work only when you have to. It just inspired me the way you have changed. Maybe I can go back to the way that I used to be. I realized after I left, that I have changed myself. I'm am no longer sweet, innocent Rory. I have done some things I regret. Starting with getting back together with Dean. Oh, I guess you didn't know that. How could you? Then I was upset because I was alone again and then Logan came... Things happened, I stole a yot, dropped out of school, and stopped talking to my mother. If it weren't for you and all those things you said to me..._

_Jess I am so proud of everything you have done and I want you to know that I am so incredibly jealous. You know I haven't been jealous since you were with Shaine in high school. I really don't know where I'm going with this so I'm sorry and I can't thank you enough for all you have done and I'm so proud of everything you have accomplished. I thought I would let you know, I did love you. And maybe... _

_Rory_

The and maybe was crossed out. There was more but he couldn't read the end of the sentence.

He began the next chapter wondering if this book would make her realize how much he loved her.

_Author's note- Read before_

_I had never loved. I never cared. I didn't even care about myself. I hate life. I was afraid to embrace anything bigger than myself. I figured if I never cared about anything more than myself than I wouldn't have to face life. I was lost and alone but I had too much pride to admit it. If you knew me you would think, 'hey look there's Jess the bad boy. The screw up you always ends up making way to many mistakes.' or, 'he stole my garden nomb. That little punk, always trying to cause trouble.' Yes that was me at age seventeen but what people didn't know is what happened to me before. Or after when I did care about someone all they saw was the surface, which was exactly what I wanted them to see. Everyone thought of me a screw up, well almost everyone... Don't read this book if you like happy ending or you don't want to hear the truth. This book tells nothing more the truth; it tells you exactly what I have accomplished and what I have done. It tells you how my life suck but ye t it rocked, all the same. Don't read if your afraid to embrace anything bigger than yourself._

_Chapter 1- Life before_

_I don't really know when it started because I was too young to remember. All I know is that it happened and it really messed me up. Maybe for the better or maybe for the worst. I assume it happened when I was a baby. When my dad left, perhaps. He left my young mother, single and alone. All she had was a brother that stayed with her for a few weeks. Sometime after that she found other boyfriends. They were so bad you could call my father the good one. _

_My mother was a drunk for most of her life. I think that's how she dealt with her pain. It started when she was a young girl, maybe thirteen or fourteen. My grandmother died. She began to lose control. She was a nightmare. Every parents worse dreams, that is until I came along. She did drugs, she smoked, she drank, needless to say when she moved to New York she fit right in. She moved in to New York were she met Jimmy Marino. They met and fell in love. Wait no let me rephrase that. They met and my mother fell in love. To make the long story short my mom ended up pregnant and my dad ended up gone. _

_Like I said before, I don't know when it started but my mom began to have boyfriends over. At first I didn't really understand, I was too young. The first three boyfriends weren't that bad. All they did was take out money and leave. There were no broken bones, no bruises, no marks, maybe a few tears but those were ok and something I would soon get used to. _

_Her fourth boyfriend started off nice. He bought her gifts and cherished her. Then he started spending the night. They would get drunk. And all I would was screams of pain. When I went to go see what was wrong the guy would turn on me. I would wake up sore and bruised, that was if I was lucky. Sometimes I would end up with broken bones that would be if I was unlucky. My mom was afraid of him. She didn't really remember what happened all she knew was that I was getting hurt. But did that stop her from seeing him. _

_My teacher began to notice the bruises that I couldn't hide. She began to worry and soon I stopped showing up for school daily, I showed up when there was a test or something I didn't want to miss. My teacher began to call my apartment and when my mom did bother to answer she would brush the teacher off and tell her that it wasn't important. _

_This was all before the age of fourteen. AS you can imagine, I was deathly afraid of everything. But that all changed when I was fourteen. I decided to look at it another way. Decided to look at it as god's way of punishing me for whatever I had did. Well, I decided that I would show him what bad is. I began to smoke and drink, too. I didn't not take drugs because I wasn't stupid and I knew that when the time came I would look much better than my mother. I began to do stupid things like vandalism. I would get caught, sometimes, which left me with a record but I didn't care. When my mom had her wonderful boyfriends over I wouldn't sleep at my mother's apartment._

_ By this time the fourth boyfriend had come and gone. She was on her millionth boyfriend. I don't really know where we got the money to live after each boyfriend had left. I didn't really care. The only thing that I spent my money on, which I had earned by working at a coffee shop, was books and cigarettes. My mom had quit for go knows what reason and we always had alcohol in the house so all I needed were my books and cigarettes. I read because it took me to a better world or maybe a world that was worse off than me but it made feel better. _

_By age fifteen, I realized that I had not done something that most bad boys had done at my age. I had never had sex. It didn't bother me at all. I wanted to wait until I was truly in love with someone. But that didn't stop me from messing with girls minds. See, I really did want love I just didn't know how to find it. So, I decided that I would try to find it by going out with any girl that I met. It didn't work. I just had girls falling for me left and right. I felt bad that I had this much control over girls emotions and I felt extremlu guilty and for a while I stopped talking to girls all together but the thing is I couldn't not talk to girls, especially when they throw themselves at you. It kinda gets hard to avoid them but I tried and I only went out with them if I liked them; so as you can imagine I didn't go out much with girls but that still didn't mean that I didn't look like I had experience. _

_At seventeen my mother had finally got a hold of her life. She stopped smoking and drinking and she had finally got a steady job. That's when she noticed what I had been doing with my life. She tried to stop me but finally got to fed up and sent me to live with her brother, Luke. I still remember that night perfectly._

_"Were have you been? The school called said you had stop showing up?" my mother said. _

_"I've been around." Came my reply._

_"Jess, talk to me, tell me why your like this?"_

_"Like what?" I said fighting back my anger._

_"Why your hell on wheels?" __I glared at her and stormed out. _

_When I came home my mom was yelling at someone on the phone and when she hung up she had a triumphant look on her face. She threw a duffle bag at me._

"_What's this for?" I asked._

"_Pack." Was all she said. _

"_Why?" I demanded._

"_You are going to go live with you uncle in Starshollow." She said satisfied with herself for whatever reason. _

"_Where?"_

"_Starshollow, Connecticut. It's were I grew up and it will do some good for you to go there. Hopefully it will straighten you out. Otherwise I don't know what I'm going to do with you. You're just too difficult." Now I don't know about you but that hurt, my own mother who was never there for me says I'm too difficult._

"_What if I don't want to go there?" I ask suddenly hoping she cares for my feelings._

"_You don't have a choice." I should have know that she wouldn't care._

"_It help you out. I know it will. Luke is just such a good influence and you'll love him. I know you will. I know I do. He just loves to help everyone and he is the most warm-hearted person. He agreed to take you in you know. He'll help you. He understands. I know it will have a good impact on you. Please Jess, go. I don't know what else to do anymore. I'm scared that you'll do something stupid and regret it. Please Jess just go." She said begging me now. _

"_Fine, I'll go." I mumble and head to my room and start packing. _

_I pack mostly books, some cloths, and my cigarettes. My mother said she will send me the rest so I'm just going to wing it until the rest of my cloths arrive. I was rather depressed that she was sending me away. I didn't want to go. I loved New York. All the sounds and the sights. My whole horrible life was back there and I wanted to stay there with it. Not once did it cross my mind that maybe I could change my reputation, there. That I could start over. No, I thought 'I'll be worse. So, she can see what a mistake she is making.'_

_I got on a bus and began to read. The bus ride was about two hours but my mother didn't have a car so I took the bus. I wasn't scared that I would mess this up. I was planning on it, actually. I was trying to prove my point even if it was wrong. I was kid, what do you expect?_

_I got off the bus and met my uncle. He was wearing a flannel shirt and a backwards baseball cap. 'Great I thought, just what I need some small town hillbilly.' He showed me diner and then the apartment. I told him I would be back and when he said don't you need keys, I said no. After he had thought I had left he said I so don't want to know why. I almost died of laughter. 'Yup,' I thought, 'He's lived a sheltered life he wouldn't understand._

_When I walked around I could swear I heard the lyrics:_

_This is hell,_

_Yes this is hell,_

_I'm sorry that I have to tell,_

_But this is hell._

_When I came back to the diner Luke introduced me to a quirky lady names Lorelai. Lorelai was pretty, in her thirties, and very understanding. She looked at me like she got it and that just made me hater her. I don't know why but I got the feeling that even if she understood that she would never really give me the chance. And I was right. She said something like class dismissed and I left. While walking up the stairs I heard her invite us to dinner at her house. 'Wow, a welcome to Starshollow party. Great' I thought._

_On the night of the dinner Luke and I argued about what time we should leave to go to Lorelei's house. I knew two things right now. Luke wanted me to like Lorelai's daughter and Luke had a HUGE thing for Lorelai. _

_If only I had known this diner would change me..._

_It changed my view on Starshollow. It wasn't just hell but it was also heaven. All because of one dinner. Well it wasn't the dinner per say... _

**AN: What do think? Did I capture Jess well enough?? I hope you enjoyed it!! Also the lyrics to the song were playing when Jess first arrived in Starshollow and was looking around but I couldn't remember the actual lyrics so I guessed. Sorry if they are wrong. Here is a sneak peak at next chapter:**

**_She was beautiful and she liked to read. And by the looks of things she was smart. This is who I've been looking for. Get a grip, man. But it was too late. I had already lost my grip on anything that wasn't her. _**


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Next chapter

**AN: Next chapter!! Yay me, I finally got it up. Sorry, it's taken longer than I usually do but I had stupid testes and then over the weekend I was sick and couldn't get out of bed...**

Jess woke up. It had been a couple weeks since he wrote the last chapter. He didn't have writer's block, in fact he knew exactly were the next part of this story was going. He was putting off actually. He knew the next chapters (well a good portion of the book, maybe more than a couple chapters) would be the chapters that would hurt him the most. He knew that reflecting back on what he had lost would hurt the most from experience. He always thought of Rory, of course, but never the dates they went on or the times they hung out. He found it very difficult for him not get depressed.

He got up. He still had no idea how to respond to Rory's letter. What did it mean? Could it possible...? But he wouldn't let himself get hope. That's one thing he still had not grown out of. He did not let himself hope. It would kill him when he was crushed. He needed to get his mind away from Rory for a couple hours, and then he would write the next chapter. Hell, he might write two just to get it over with quicker. He began reading but he just couldn't focus so he decided to write the next chapter first then read. He went up to his laptop but was interrupted by a knock.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" Came a very seductive female voice.

"In here." Jess called.

"Well, hey there. How are you, today?" She had a Texas accent and was batting her eyelashes.

"Fine. How may I help you?" He was acting like he would when he was seventeen but he couldn't help it she was annoying him to death.

"Do you know were the nearest coffee shop is?" she asked.

'Coffee. Rory. Damn' he thought.

"Yeah it's right next door." He looked at her and blinked, uninterested. Where were Matt and Chris to hit on her?

"Do you mind walking me, I hear it's dangerous in Philly?" He stared at her as if she was crazy or maybe it was just because she couldn't take a hint...

"It's right next door, I think you can make it." He said.

"Well, I kinda wanted you to take me there. I think I would enjoy your company."

"Listen, I have to work, I am very busy, and" he added the last part to try and let her down easy, "I love someone else." He wasn't completely lying. He did love someone else.

"Oh, you have a girlfriend? I'm so sorry." She walked out.

As the door closed, he said, "Or something like that."

Then he began the painful trip down memory lane, he may just have to get drunk after this to numb the pain, maybe it will make him forget that he even wrote it...

_Chapter 2- Start of something, or not. _

_I walked into the house which I would soon know very well. This house was the house Rory Gilmore. She was, well you'll see. _

_I walked in and took a look around. They had a nice house but I couldn't help but laugh at the amount of pictures around this house. God these people were crazy and I was right (in a way). I walked into the kitchen were a man who obsessed over fruits (Jackson) and a women you would think was crazy, kind of unstable, and loved to cook (Sookie). There was a room which Lorelai told me Rory was. _

_I walked into her bedroom, were a brunette sat working busily at her computer. She had shoulder length hair. It was the most beautiful color (like most things about her). I tried to avoid looking at her. I suddenly got very nervous. My hands got sweaty and I simply couldn't explain it. Looking back I realize what many people before me would easily recognize. I had found it. The thing I had been looking. Or person, should I say. When she turned around and finally looked at me, which seemed to take hours but really only took seconds, she introduced herself and I replied with a sarcastic comment. _

_She defiantly was very beautiful. The most beautiful women if I have a say in that matter. She had the most piecing eyes. They were the deepest blue and I had to force myself to look away. I asked how we could bail. She said that it would be fun if we stayed here. I disagreed. I almost said we could make our fun but I got the feeling that she wouldn't like the sound of that. She looked very innocent and sweet and just before I had noticed and made some smart comment about how she loved to read. I had told her that I didn't read much, trying to stay mysterious. Trying to make her fall for me. This time I was sure that this was the girl that I wanted, now the task of getting her..._

_We walked into the kitchen. She asked me if I wanted a soda and I said I would get. She walked out of the room and I swear I wished she would have walked back in the room just so she was in speaking distance. This is were my hard decision making skills came in. Unfortunately, although I thought about it, I rarely ever choice the right choice. Well that's me, unfortunately. I opened the fridge and there was beer there. Lot's of it, too. They wouldn't notice if I took one. So I took it. I walked outside on the porch so not to get caught. Although, I didn't really master that to well. Lorelai came out and took the beer away. I have to give her props thought, she didn't bust me, just took it from me and drank it. _

_I ended up figuring out that she just as crazy about at Luke as he was for her. She defiantly did. She smiled when she said his name and I swear there was stars in her eyes. I bailed, which is another thing I do very well. _

_That night, Luke and I got in a screaming match over me stealing a beer and treating Lorelai they way I did. This would be the first of many fights. When I stormed out of the diner I saw the one, the only, Lorelai 'Rory' Leigh Gilmore. She had a bag in her hand, probably out for something for school. She seemed like the kind of girl to actually care about school. She walked past me and I quickly caught up. We began talking. We stopped when I tried to pull a coin out of her ear. Apparently she not to found of that. Not all. She never really liked my magic tricks, well I guess she never hated them..._

_We started walking again._

_"Hey so what are you doing now?" I asked. I don't know if she got that I was asking her out. She probably wouldn't have said yes for reason that were still unknown to me then._

_"I have some homework to finish." She said. She smiled. She liked to please people but I was making her nervous and she probably did have a lot of homework knowing the high society prep school she went to. _

_"Ok well I leave to this last little trick." I said as I pulled howl out of my back pocket. She looked at me amazed and it didn't surprise me when she said, "You bought it, I told you you could borrow mine." We had stopped and were facing each other. And I had to fight myself not to kiss her. _

_"It is yours."_

_"You stole my book." She looked at him accusingly but it looked more of amusement then anything else. _

_"Nope. Borrowed it."_

_"Ok that's not called a trick that called a felony." She looked at me sternly. _

_"I just wanted to put some notes in the margins for you."_

_What?" She opened the book and looked in inside, "You've read this before." She looked at me again amazed. _

_"Only like forty times."_

_"Thought you said you didn't read much?"_

_I shrugged before saying, "What is much" and turned to make a mysterious and exciting exit. I smirked and said, "G'night Rory."_

_"Night Dodger." I looked at her. She couldn't be referring to Oliver Twist, could she? _

_"Dodger." I repeated._

_"Figure it out." She said with a smirk, thinking she had beat me._

_"Oliver twist." I called out to her. She looked at me and smiled telling me that I was right even though I needed no indication of that. Then she walked away. _

_I saw her numerous times in the diner. She had a huge thing for coffee. Her mother and her would beg for coffee from Luke. It was a really annoying, quirky, and very cute morning routine. I soon fell into it. But I usually gave them the coffee they desired, instead of fighting them. Maybe it was because of the amount of time it took to argue with them or maybe it was the fact that Rory looked at me with those cute eyes that made my knees weak..._

_She went to a ball on time. I knew she would be coming into the diner afterwards so, just to make her laugh (and to piss off Luke) I dressed up in flannel and put a backwards baseball cap on my head. She defiantly did laugh and Luke made me go change. _

_Again I saw her in the diner all the time but I never really got to talk to her. After that I decided to get her attention in other ways. I bought some police tap and some chalk. I went to Doose's in the dark of the night (in which nobody was awake). It was a little past midnight. I drew a fake body outline and then I put police tape around the sight. _

_The next day, I saw her see it from across the street. She looked up, spotting me. She looked at me hard, silently asking me if it was me. I gave her a nod accompanied by a smirk confirming her suspensions and telling her that I had done it. I waked away. Leaving her to ponder about what I had just done. _

_Later, I saw her alone on the corner by Doose's. I mad small talk with her. She was mad that I had made Luke look bad. Although, she did think it was funny and I got to see her smile. She had the most beautiful smile. She was laughing with me when a boy with brown hair, who was about the size of a tower, and had a confused, hurt and mad look on his face appeared. He looked from me to her. He did not look pleased. She intruded him as her boyfriend. _

_My heart shattered, she had a boyfriend. Well, I guess that was to be expected but I had hoped... It wasn't a usual thing for me to do, hope. But I did it because around her I have very little control of my emotions. I thought this was the start of something, or not... And I let myself fall into my world of darkness. I had become depressed but only time would tell if my broken heart would heal. _

_**AN: So like it? Hate it? Whatchya think? Did I capture Jess's thought's well? Do you think it was good? Do you think the whole Texas woman was too much? Do you think I should continue writing the story or just say he finished the book and sent it to her and do a sequel, if you want me to continue writing the book it will take longer but it will tell you more about happened to him when he left Starshollow (pick a time) and it will tell you how he dealt with it? So tell me what you think with a review. **_

_**Reviews are love and my name means love... Oh, and if I get7 reviews by 11:00, 10/17/08 then I will write two chapter this weekend. So please review!! Love you guys!!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: This is really difficult to write and if you think I miss something, let me know and I will TRY to fix it. Thanks for reading and please review. Sorry it's been awhile. **

Not much time had passed. Jess knew that he had to finish this part of the story but he was afraid of the pain that would soon overtake him. Matt and Chris were fitting over the next girl that they were currently hitting on. It was kinda sad and their argument was getting old. He sighed, when was the last time he had hit on a girl.

'Wow, before Rory.' he thought. He had never really hit on Rory, she was too innocent.

'But she's not anymore.' he thought bitterly.

This wasn't getting him anywhere but getting her over her was to impossible. He could try dating. He would be kind of rusty considering that he hadn't dated since he was eighteen. It was pathetic and he knew it but he couldn't; it hurt to much to even look at a girl, dating would be impossible. Where was this getting him?

And he knew all too well. No where. This was getting him no where. He was only venturing into the known, never the unknown. There was a time where he would venture into unknown but he had learned long ago that had only led to heart break. He sighed, this was leading in circles. He began to walk upstairs. He stopped short when he heard his name being called. He turned around to see a blonde girl. She looked familiar.

"Yes?" he asked.

"You don't remember me?" She didn't look disappointed or surprised. She looked like she had expected it.

"Nope. Not at all." He answered honestly and she chuckled. She obviously knew him when he was younger if that how she was reacting. Ok, so that narrows it done. Not.

"Shaine. That help?" She said a wide smile on her face.

"Hey, Shaine." This was awkward. He didn't want to talk to her but he wasn't rude anymore. He was scared that she would hit on him or want to get back together because that would be awkward, although it would be a good way to get Rory jealous.

'No your not using Shaine again.' he scolded himself.

"You want to go out for coffee." She said hopeful. Coffee. Rory. Jess's thoughts were turned away from the blonde bimbo in front of him. But he quickly regained himself and tried to pay attention to the girl in front of him.

"Um... What is it that exactly that you want?" He said carefully, not trying to offend her.

"Catch up, mostly. Listen Jess, I know you still in love with that Rory freak. I just want to talk. I want to let people know I'm not the slut everyone thought I was. I have changed. I'm not saying I want you to love me- because I don't. I just want to prove myself right and everyone else wrong. Like you did with your life." she said. Shaine had really changed and she was just looking for an old friend and unfortunately she didn't have many so she looked for Jess.

"Well, then lead the way. And Rory is not a freak. Just she liked school and is smart doesn't make her a freak." He still got defensive when people said bad things about Rory. He didn't like it. At all.

They went out for coffee. He found Shaine had really changed. She actually was smart and she had accomplished a lot. Jess had never really minded Shayne's presence and wouldn't mind being friends with her. It was awkward at first and he apologized for using her but she shoke off as if it was nothing. Which to her it probably was. Just a high school fling, if you could even call it a fling. They said their goodbyes and Jess didn't feel any regret about Shaine. Yes, he had used her. No, he had never had any actual feelings for her. But still she was a good friend, well sorta.

When he got home, he knew he had to work on his book. He sat on his bed and got comfortable. He had bought ice cream and lots of junk food. He was going to wallow Gilmore style.

'He it goes' he though.

_Chapter 3~ Fights and Bjork._

_Dean did not like me. Well, at first I may have had a chance at being friends with him. But I destroyed it. I didn't care if he was nice to everyone. He was jerk, if you were to ask me, but that's just it nobody did. I was at school on a day I actually decided to show up. It was stupid and it caused a lot of problems. _

_After school, there was this kid. He had serious issues. He started taunting me. It didn't take much to provoke me. I was going to leave after making a few smart comments but then he mentioned the one thing that would make me stay and fight. They were talking about Rory Gilmore thinking that I wasn't going to fight them. Rory, as I said is very beautiful, but what they were saying about her. I wanted to rip his throat out. She wasn't just a piece of meat. She didn't deserve to be talked about n way that made her seem like an object. I turned on my heel and I drove at that kid. We began fighting. Soon, we were being pulled apart. Dean, tried to shake me off and when he did I turned and punished him. I was fighting for Rory, his girl, and he thought he had the right to pull me off of that guy? _

_I began to fight him, until he made a huge show of saying he wasn't going to fight me. I wish he would have. I would have enjoyed fighting him, with no one there to stop us. We would have killed each other, but at least I would have gotten my anger out. I walked away. I knew he didn't like me now, and I was very ok with that. Now the games could begin. Hopefully, it wouldn't take him long to figure out that I wanted Rory. Although, I had seen him in class and he was very slow and not so smart...._

_The thing that bugged me so much about Dean was that he wasn't even her type. She was smart and pretty. She was intelligent and loved to put her nose in a book. She was unathletic and hated sports. _

_Dean was Sporty and athletic; in fact, he loved playing and watching sports. He never had his nose in a book and he was about as intelligent as a rock. Although, that may be a compliment...._

_It bugged me when they were together. Rory would always say something like 'did I tell you how much I loved you today?'. She didn't know what love was. I, on the other hand, did. I was moody and mean when I wasn't near her. I thought of only her. Things constantly reminded me of her. I truly don't believe that he was always on her mind. She looked rather tired with him. She looked bored but she didn't know what to say. She may have loved him, but I truly believe that when I was there, she had lost that loving feeling._

_Luke got us roped into this Brackbridge dinner. We went to dinner at the inn, where Lorelai worked, and then we spent the night. There was snow rides and mingling. It wouldn't have surprised me if there was clog dancing. We got there and I saw he turn and look at me and then quickly turn away. I still have no idea whether or not she was reacting to my presence or if she was mad at me. Dean and Claire (Dean's little, annoying, and bratty sister) arrived. This is where things were going to get interesting. _

_I heard Dean say something around the lines of I don't like that guy. I probably wouldn't have been brought up except for the fact that Rory's eyes were boring into my back, as if she were trying to figure something out. I could feel her looking at me and I could see it out of the corner of my eye. I tried not to smile, which I succeeded at, although I did smirk. _

_Later on, I saw her talking to a blonde girl, around our age. I would soon know this girl to be Paris. Paris was aggressive and fierce. She wanted to be at the top. She wanted to be the best of the best. She wanted to be the smartest, she wanted to be valedictorian, she wanted to be everything. She wanted to have it all. It was he goal. But there were a few occasional times when she let her guard down. And if she were to show you they side of her it meant to things. One you weren't completely annoying and you had a brain, and a very intelligent one at that and two you were very, very lucky. She wasn't half bad when she let her guard down. _

_Soon after Lorelai annoyed that it was time for slay rides. Luke asked me if I were going and I said no. At least I thought I wasn't going to go on. That was until I saw Dean go off with Claire, leaving Rory alone. She got on the sled and I jumped on with ease. The carriage had just taken off and I got scolded for risking my life. I brushed off her concern._

_We began talking. I asked her what Dean and her talked about. She started talking about him. I accidentally let it slip that I didn't think that he was her type. She was taken aback. Obviously nobody had ever told her that. She wasn't expecting it. She asked what her type would be in my opinion and I wanted to say me but instead I shrugged and brushed it off like it was nothing. _

_We passed Lorelai's and Rory's snowman some time during the ride. We talked about how hers was gas going to take second. I told her that theirs was better and I meant it. It was designed as Bjork. _

_When we returned things started to take a turn for the worst and Rory was preoccupied so I couldn't see her for the rest of the night._

_Late at night, when I was sure nobody would see me, I went I destroyed the only competition in the snowman contest. Making sure that she would win. I knew she would it was me who did it and I knew it would make her smile. I was quite pleased with myself, actually. _

_The next day, before she knew about my doings, she was staring at me again. I knew I had caught her attention and I know Dean noticed. He looked desperate. Perhaps he knew that he was losing her, I almost felt bad for him. Almost. I remembered that he still had her and then all my hatred for him returned. _

_Later that morning I saw her mother and her riding in a slay back home. I saw their faces when they realized they would win by default. I saw her knowing smile and I knew she knew that I made it happen, for her. _

**AN: Umm... I tried to make this longer. What do you guys think....? Should I speed it up and put fewer details or should I continue making this semi long? Let me know with the review that I know you desperately want to leave. Love ya guys. **


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Sorry it's short and I haven't updated in awhile. I'm still so busy.

The days were passing. This book was becoming more and more difficult to write. The pain edged away and Jess knew very well that he was becoming unapproachable. The scowl that he had worked so hard to lose had returned to him. He shot death glares to anyone that so much as looked at him. The girls, or course, found this oddly attractive and more and more girls came on to him every day. He would tell them to go. He shot each and everyone down. He didn't want to be alone but he defiantly didn't want to be with them. He made any girl that was in any way attracted to him seem foolish and crushed their egos. He accomplished very little and Matt and Chris began to worry. Jess had been in this mood before. They knew what to expect, his cruelness, the sarcastic comments, churlish attitude, unapproachableness, the lack of enthusiasm, either a smirk or a frown on his face, his unhappiness. But what they didn't expect was him not working. Jess was a hard worker. Not by choice but by need. He needed the money so he worked. And when he worked there was no one that could out do him. No one that could do the job better than him. But Jess was ignoring his work. He was ignoring the book and they had no idea why.

Jess didn't want them to find out why he was ignoring it. He didn't want them to know his past. They were going to find out from this book but in truth the only one that he wanted to read this book was Rory. He wanted her to understand. No he needed her to understand how he felt, how he would always feel. If she didn't understand he didn't have a chance with her. Not that he thought he had a chance with her. He had to make one more attempt before admitting failure. He couldn't quite admit it yet. After all this time he couldn't admit defeat. Admitting defeat meant that he had lost and if he had lost than the one person that he had ever loved would never be his again. He knew it was best for and wanted her to stay away from him for her sake but at the same time he needed her to survive. He needed her to keep him sane. To keep in check. To keep him happy.

He knew he had to write so he open his lap top and started writing what he dreaded to write. He knew pain very well, so he was able to handle it but right now he walls were let down remembering a time when he let them down freely, well to one person at least...

_Chapter 5- Bet on her basket. _

_More time had passed. I'm sure of how much myself. But some time had passed. Paris and Rory walked into the diner. I was sarcastic and joking but I knew that I had made Rory smile. _

_"What are you doing?" Rory asked her physiological friend._

_"Trying just to blend in. Fad away. Observe." She answered._

_"Hey, Rory. Coffee?" Luke asked._

_"Thanks Luke." Rory said._

_"Who's your friend?" he asked, again playing the father figure._

_"Angela." She replied. _

_"You the owner here?" Paris butted in._

_"Yup. You want some coffee Angela?" Luke asked, obviously missing the joke but that was Luke for you._

_"No thanks. So you own the diner, huh?" Paris said._

_"Oh boy." Rory muttered. _

_"You get a lot of truckers through here?" She asked. God only knows what she wanted to find out. Truckers? In Starshollow? She must have been crazy._

_"Truckers?" He asked, he chuckled but looked at Rory strangely probably wondering why she was hanging out with such a character._

_"Yea. You know guys who have been on the road for week. Lonely. Guys looking for company. A little pick me up. Things like that." Rory and Luke looked like they were going to start cracking up. _

_Luke turned to Rory, "What's she talking about?" He asked. _

_"You guess is as good as mine." She through her arms up in surrender._

_They went on with this banter for some time until I walked down. That only seemed to make it worse. Of course, I added my own little input. Luke tried to protest but it was just too much fun. Luke was pissed but Rory looked she got a good laugh out of this one. _

_At this time I thought Paris was crazy. I think I may have been right. But she scared me and that is saying something. I had lived in New York and I had seen a lot of crazy people. But she had to be crazier than all of them combined. _

_More time passed and I saw Rory in the diner. Had some debates with her on books. We talked, a little. But Dean was always there waiting for her. She would see him and sigh. We would say our goodbyes and she would leave. It hurt me to know that she was going to Dean. But I had to accept it. It is what it is was my motto. Except this time I added a for now. _

_The next time I saw was more amusing and brought new hope and made me that much closer to winning Rory. _

_I saw Dean and Rory in Doose's. They were arguing about which basket Rory should get for a stupid town festival. I walked up behind them and stopped their kissing. That defiantly bugged me. I walked away. And I waited until Dean had walked away to before reproaching Rory and making a show of grabbing more glue. _

_There was stupid bitter basket thing going on. I went. But only to help win Rory. Things were about to get interesting. _

_People were biding on other people's baskets. And if you won the bid then you got to have lunch with the person's basket you bought. Taylor, the announcer, seemed like he would much rather be an announcer on a talk show than an announcer for this stupid festival. When it was Rory's basket's time. Dean in I got into a little bidding war. I won. _

_Afterwards, Dean, Rory, and I got into an odd argument. It was about whether Rory should go eat with me. I won that, too. We went out and we sat on the bridge. I had fun. We talked about books. And then afterwards we went out for pizza and books. During that time, I also found her bracelet and for some reason I didn't give it back to her. I knew this was the bracelet that Dean gave her and I wanted to see if my plan was working. If she noticed it was gone within two days I would leave her alone. If she didn't....._

_Afterwards, she called me. We had a conversation and she said nothing about the bracelet. Could it be a good sign? I didn't know but I did want to find out. _

_**AN: I tried to give you guys some more insight on what Jess was thinking in the present time and in the past. How do you like it? Leave a review and if I get two that give some insight and feeling I will update soon… And I won't break my promise this time. LUV YA!!! **_


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey guys, so sorry for the lack of updates but, I've been so busy (more busy then usual cuz of the holidays). So to make it up for you I"m gonna lose much needed sleep! Ok, and I'm gonna be mean and ask for twenty review.. I won't be mad if I don't get them, I just wanna see if I can... So if you love me or the story you will kindly review and for the people that always review you know I love you and to all my readers I love ya too!**

Rory. Rory. It's all he ever thought about. He couldn't think of anything else and he couldn't ever stop. It used to make him mad but now he just knew and understood how it had to be. It was a sad life but it had it's perks.

Luke called. It surprised Jess. They talked. Oddly enough, Jess wanted to hear all about the town. He wanted to know about Kirk's new job that had already failed and Ms. Patty's newest gossip and Taylor's next odd town function. He took the town for granted, Jess realized. Never was there such a town. There would never be a town like this town. The crazy people. The gruffly old diner man. The wacky, fun-loving, good natured Lorelai's. He didn't realize until now, years later, that he didn't just make a mistake by walking out on Rory (which is by far more major than the next) but he also walked out on the most unique town in the world. One day, when he was grey and old, he was going to come back and show them all of what they've done. He was going to say, I couldn't have done it without you. But first he had to let the scars that he had made there heal. But he would return and he would give the town the proper treatment.

Jess thought he must have been going insane. Thanking a bunch of people who hated him. Maybe he was insane but at least he knew what had gotten him to where he was. It was mainly Rory but without the town, he would never have meet Rory and he would have never had to fought for her.

Now he was going crazy. He needed sleep. In the morning he would write the next chapter.

_Chapter 6- Bracelets Care packages and umbrellas. , _

_Everything happen so quickly. I never had time to catch my breath. It took Rory a while to figure that he bracelet was gone. She realized only because Dean noticed. _

_I was cleaning the gutters that day. Lorelai and I were making progress. I made a nice reference. Lorelai and I weren't that different. That's why we couldn't get along. Rory ran in, almost in tears, saying that she lost her bracelet, given to her by her beloved Dean. It made me bitter, the fact that she cared. I slipped out of the house and went back to my work. _

_That got me thinking about what happened earlier. Rory was talking to me about being nice to her mother. Somehow it ended in, "Not care care like care but if you like me at all, not like like, then you'll take that into consideration and be nice to my mother." I agreed to this and smiled at her rambling. I also smiled about how nervous I was making her. It was a good sign. _

_But now she was worried about her and Dean and I was comforting her, telling her it would all be alright. I told her to look in the obvious places, that's where things always end up. She said she was and headed to the diner. But only I knew where the bracelet was. I had it._

_I snuck into her room and put the bracelet under her bed. Lorelai caught me sneaking out. I covered for myself, saying that I was seeing if Rory had a book. She glared at me suspiciously. She didn't believe but she didn't have proof._

_Later on, I heard Rory come back to the house. Then, a couple minutes later, I heard Rory say she found it. After I was done, Lorelai confronted me. She told me she knew that I was the one that took it. She told me that was Rory's most prized possession and I shot back how it had been missing for quite some time. _

_Next thing I know, Luke is putting a hammer through the wall telling me to finish up and that's my room. She came into the diner, one morning (well she always does) while the construction workers were working. I handed her an umbrella to stop stuff from falling on her head. Luke thought I was being funny but I really didn't want her to get hurt. _

_Lorelai was out of town that night. I brought over food saying it was a care package from Luke. It wasn't I wanted to see her and I knew she was planning on spending the whole night by herself. _

_Paris was there and it seemed like Rory was kicking her out. I wanted to stay for diner. She was flustered and I could tell. Tonight would be interesting. _

_**AN: I'm trying to move this along but it's hard to rush Rory and Jess. 20 reviews, please. **_


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Hey, I'm getting better at the weekly updates. Although sadly, I did not get my 20 reviews. I may, just to be mean not write another chapter until I get 20 reviews. And if you review quickly enough... There may be more than two in store for you. Hehe... but I guess you are going hit that magical button to find out. **

Jess still thought of Rory. It never lessened but it wasn't as bad as it was when he had first ran away. Now he could at least deal with the pain that he had so stupidly caused himself.

Luke and Jess talked frequently, now. They had a better relationship then they had all those years ago. Luke knew and understood that Jess would always love Rory. Although, he did not intend to have either Lorelai find out.

For Jess, the days past slowly and each day was a bigger realization. Rory wasn't coming back. But yet, he still couldn't get himself to go out with any other girls. He tried, he really did but then he thought of Rory and, as you can imagine, he never went out on the dates. He canceled and canceled until the women got tired and moved on.

Work at the bookstore was getting tiring. He also knew he had to write the next chapter. This was probably one of the chapters that would hurt little compared to what the next chapter would contain....

He wasn't unwilling to finish the book, he was merely unwilling to write the next couple of chapter. But in the end he had convinced himself that it was for the best. He wondered in the end how long this book would turn out to be. His next chapter was written and sleep over came him.

_Chapter 7- You think we need supervision?_

_I asked her if I could stay for diner. I'm not pathetic I covered it up. But not well. This, I knew. And this, I wanted her to know also. I did that on purpose. One thing that I know is: You should never play to hard to get. I covered my wanting to stay for dinner with as an attempt to get away from the loud noises. She didn't believe me. Not at all. Not one bit. _

_But I wasn't the only one making pathetic attempts. She was very uncomfortable with me eating with her alone. Whilst her mother was in New York. It made sense. She was innocent. I was sure of that. And even if she was, I was sure, at the time, that she would be faithful to her pathetic, moppy-haired jackass of a boyfriend. She invited Paris. I saw clearly when I arrived that she was attempting to kick her out. But now when the bad boy decided to stay and she, being the kind-hearted person she was, allowed him to- some would even say with Rory's personality made it impossible to say no to me- stay for dinner. But not without a supervisor. I even pointed that. I asked her "you think we need a supervisor?" and her answer was a blush and something about school. I, myself was kinda wishing that she told Paris to go home. I mean, as a red-blooded male, you can only imagine what being alone with an innocent girl that I happened to be in love with could turn out t o be . And now, looking back, I am rather disappointed with the thoughts running through my head. Physical attraction was defiantly not what I wanted. I wanted her love. But sadly, that's what was crossing my mind at that particular moment. _

_But with good reason, for I would have had no control, she asked Paris to stay. I have to say I had fun- please, excuse the pun. I had made some sarcastic comments, as usual, but unlike what normally occurs other people (Rory and Paris, considering they were the only other people besides me there) also made very successful attempts at sarcasm. We talked about so much. Ranging from books to music. We even talked about school, which did not turn out to be all that unenjoyable. Although, Rory could be talking about fish and it still would have interested me. But, that was just me and perhaps Dean. Maybe even some other guy had fallen and Dean had prevailed. But whatever the case, I was almost always interested in what Rory had to say. _

_Everything was going fine. Rory and I were teaching the fine art of eating junk food to Paris, who had been poorly educated in that subject. But she was a quick leaner. We, the three of us, were having a good time that is until her boyfriend called. Apparently she didn't want to have company this particular night. But she did not seem at all not pleased with the way things had worked out. Anyways, as I was saying, Dean called. He wanted to come over and see his girlfriend. _

_I, as predicted, was kicked out. She tried to do it discreetly but Rory is very easy to read and therefore her attempts were fruitless. I knew why I had to leave. In fact, I even pointed out that I knew. She, of course, did not want to hurt my feelings by saying that she was choosing her boyfriend over me. If I were an ordinary friend, perhaps it would have been such a bad idea. But considering the fact that I wanted Rory to be mine I was not liked. And let me tell you, it was no secret that I was not liked by Dean. Not that I couldn't understand why. The only thing that I couldn't understand is why Rory would waste her time with someone like Dean. _

_She apparently couldn't kick me out fast enough or perhaps it was because Starshollow was so small but for whatever the reason was Dean showed up while I was still there. Dean knew Rory was lying. I did not help her lie, either. Looking back, there was a time when I thought I should have because I didn't want to see her hurting. But, at this time I only had one goal and that was to win Rory- not that she is a possession, it's just the simplest way to put it. So, I made it more difficult in attempt to break them apart. _

_My attempt were fruitless because Rory and Paris obviously covered it up with some because the next day Rory and Dean spent the whole day together. And I don't think I was in any of their conversations. But before she spent the day with them she discovered something. She had figure out that the "care package" I had brought over to her was indeed from me and not Luke. But the thing is, she didn't seem to mind._

_I, at least, knew I was making progress. Rory was going fond of me. I have no idea of in what way she was fond of me but she defiantly liked me. I highly doubt that love filled her thoughts and dreams- well at least not love for me. But, I was happy with making this little bit of progress. At the very least I was a good friend. I just had to work my way up a little higher. But my hopes did not soar. For I was never an idiot and idiot I always was. Maybe breaking up Rory and Dean was stupid and selfish, that I will never know, but I was no idiot because I knew Dean was the perfect boyfriend and that I could NEVER be perfect in any factor. _

_**AN: So… Please leave a review! I may cry if you don't… Well not really but I will pretend. Anyways, who else hates Dean besides me? And who thinks this story is progressing to slowly? If you have any comment, any comment at all, would you kindly leave a review? Just hit the magical button, which I promise does not bite, and write what you thought of the story down. Then hit the summit button. It's quite simple contrary to other people's belief. So be sooo nice and make me love you even more by simply leaving a review. Love ya my readers/reviews. **_


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I need to write something sooo badly but I can't think of anything, so I know I said I wasn't updating until I got twenty reviews but I have to! It will drive me insane if I don't write. So here is the next chapter! Yay me... also what do you think about the one shots? Yay or nay? Hmmm... ok Jess leaves soon so the chapters will be easier to write... anyone know how long he was gone? Cuz that would really help me, I mean a lot. A lot, a lot. Anyways, I may start the squeal to busing and better endings soon but I'm not quite sure cuz this story is a pain to write with and having another story makes it sooo difficult but yea... Um... any question/answers pm or leave a review, I don't care which. Also would like to thank my reviewers for my two one shots. I feel so special you all left such good reviews. **_**Anyways this is a long author's note that I would appreciate you read!!!!**_** On with the story!!**

Jess walked downstairs to do his shift. That's when he saw her. The long brown hair, the bright blue eyes, and the smile that most men would die over. It was Lorelai Gilmore.

"Um.. Hey Lorelai. What can I do for you?" He asked a little confused but still wanting to do his job.

"Jess, I need your help. I never thought I would say that but... Anyways it's about Rory. She needs your help."

"What do you need me to do? I'll do anything in my power. You know that." I said earnestly.

"I know you will. See I have this issue with Logan. I don't like him. And I think your the only one that can steer her feelings in another direction."

"Well, I could try but where would you like me "steer" her feelings?"

"To the obvious place, duh." She said like he should know exactly what she was talking about.

"Which is?" He asked bewildered.

"To you. Why else would I be up here if I wasn't. Listen I think, no, I know that she still loves you. She just trying to hide her feelings for you with Logan. She wants to believe she loves him but she can't. She can pretend but she can't hide the way she feels. Come back to Starshollow with me. Let us fall back into our old lives. Let fate take over. Jess, I have never seen anyone that made her more happy then you do. She needs you."

"She has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't." He said bitterly.

"When? When has she said that?"

"When she came here, kissed me, and then told me it was only to get back at her boyfriend whom she loved. If that's not perfectly clear, I have no fricion idea what is."

"Just think about it Jess."

She walked away and he began to type.

_Chapter 8- Ice cream in cones_

_Time passed. I was able to steal glances of her while she was at the diner but they were always stolen and as much as I loved thrill and excitement, for once I just wanted to be able to do it. Although, I did not mind pissing off Dean. That was a perk but it just didn't feel right. I wanted her to be mine. It drove me out of my mind. I hated Dean with every fiber in my body. I tried to piss him off, which worked most of the time, but it soon lost it's kick. I knew one way that would never get old. If I won Rory that would be the perfect way to piss him off. I told myself that's why I wanted Rory so much but I knew it was a lie. I couldn't even lie to myself and I knew the whole town knew... Well except Rory. In some ways it was a good way she a little slow. But in others it drove me INSANE!! I just wanted her to know. Maybe, just maybe she would then chose me and I would have the best chance in the world. A chance with Rory Gilmore. _

_Apparently, I wasn't doing well in school. Well, I suppose you actually have to show up and turn in homework to do well, so I guess it wasn't too much of a surprise when Luke told me the school called and told them I was basically failing all of my classes. But you see it was all part of my master plan. Well, not really but it fell right into place. Like destiny. Fate. _

_When Luke found out I wasn't doing well in school, he decided that I needed a tutor. Who is this smartest person that Luke knows, who happens to go to the smart schools, and is in the same grade as I am? None other than Rory Gilmore. It worked out perfectly. She was coming over to help me study. Of course, studying isn't what I really had in mind... _

_Her mom didn't want to leave her with me... I could understand why. I was quite obvious that I was head over heals for her. But Rory, who always has innocent thoughts flow through her head, told her mom that we were just studying and there was nothing to worry about. Rory obviously had never heard of the boy/girl-tutoring-never-ends-up-as-just-friends-thing. So her mother, trusting Rory, left. Besides it was me she didn't trust._

_She tried to tutor me but she failing miserably. She was having a good time. I could tell but she didn't want to let down Luke. I thought that I could prolong it. The more studying time I got with her, the more time I would spend with her. _

_I wrote down lyrics to the clash songs and made her guess what song (which she got right), I did magic tricks, and I did everything in my power not to study. Eventually, she got annoyed and threatened to go home. She did everything in her power to get me to study. _

_I came up with an idea. If we got ice cream than I would be the perfect student. I said we couldn't get ice cream in bowels because that's just not right, so we had to go somewhere else to get ice cream. She agreed and once we got back I would be the perfect student._

_When I saw her car, I almost drooled. It was a nice car. It was an old car but it was built for use again. I soon realized why. Dean had fixed it for her. I drove so she could help me study. We got our ice cream. _

_We were almost back to the diner when I came up with another brilliant idea. Please, note the sarcasm. I suggested we drive in circles for awhile. It was a good way to talk and maybe... _

_I'm not going to lie. I was thinking about kissing her and making her mine. My thoughts were not all pg. actually not all of them were pg13. If you know what I mean. _

_But all those thoughts came to an end. There was something fuzzy in the road. She screamed. I swerved. We hit a pole. Her car was ruined and he wrist made an unpleasant sound. _

_She said it hurt and I called and ambulance. I had hurt Rory. It was the only thought that went through my mind. I had hurt her. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to. I wanted to kill myself, I was that mad. But, I was only mad at myself._

_The ambulance came and I left. I went to the bridge. I fought back tears and for the most part I succeeded. Luke came up to the bridge and came to talk to me. I told him I made sure she was ok. While taking a drag from my cigarette. At that moment, I hated myself. I broke the one thing that I loved. Why couldn't I have been the one to be hurt? Why did it have to be her? Why did there have to be some fuzzy thing in the road? Why, why, why? _

**AN: I mean, I know. I guess you will have to review to figure out what Jess does in response to Lorelai's suggestion. Rory and Jess may just see each other soon. Review to find out sooner. Thanks for all my readers. **


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: What does Jess do about Lorelai's suggestion. Find out by reading. **

Rory,

I did a lot of thinking and just when I thought I had it all figured out something changed. Rory, your mother came to see me. She told me that she did not like you current boyfriend and that I should change it. At first, I did not want to interfere. It's your life and you made it pretty clear that you did not want me to be a part of it or at least, not the part of it that I want to be.

You know how I feel and I hope you know that I will never change how I feel. I can't stop loving you if I tried. You are too... well... your... you and that's what makes me love you. I'm not running. I'm not hiding. You will always have me.

The old Jess would have never been up front like this. Well, this is the truth and I have to face it. It will never change no matter what. Your mother said that you still loved me. She is under that impression. I did not write this letter to be cocky. No, I am not under that impression. I don't believe it at all, in fact.

But just like the time I came to your dorm, this is a pathetic attempt because if I don't try, I may never get a chance. You always have me. I'll be whatever you want me to be. Just know that I am always waiting on the sideline. And if you ever decide to sit on the bench, well I'll be there keeping you seat warm.

Always yours,

Jess

It took him two hours, five pieces of paper, three cups of coffee, and six frustrated sighs to get him there. He put the envelope in his pocket. Signed and Sealed. It had to be delivered. And Jess was already Rory's whether she liked it or not so that covered the I'm yours part. He put it in the mail box and he walked back to the bookstore. He'd write another chapter today.

_Chapter 9 – Yea right... Maybe...?_

_I woke up to the loud noises. The blare of a police car. Dogs barking. The apartment next to mine had their music blaring. Yup, this is New York. I had gotten used to the crazy town of Starshollow. _

_It may ruin my ego but Starshollow was my only home. It was the only place where I could be myself. Well, ok that was only with one person but... _

_I needed to get her off my mind. I knew it. I understood it. Doing it was the hard part. A million what if's were running through my head, still. I knew that I was going to have to leave when I... I... broke her. I didn't fight it. What was worth fighting for?_

_Luke had found me at the bridge and I told him that I made sure she was okay. There were so many unspoken words between us in that moment. I knew he could see my tears. I knew that he could see that I loved her. I knew, he knew, the whole town knew. Rory probably knew, too. She just didn't want to hurt me. But I didn't really believe that, did I? _

_He didn't have to say it. I knew it. We walked back to the apartment. He gave me a piece of pie and coffee. I accepted the pie but not the coffee. Coffee was Rory's thing. I finished it and we walked up stairs. We spoke no words but we had so many conversations. _

_I started packing and he helped me. I made sure I had the majority of my stuff. I want apart of me in that town. Happy. _

_The bus ride was slow and boring. I should have been excited. I was back in New York. It was where I wanted to be, right? I wanted to be here in New York. I didn't like that four block of a town, right? _

_Yea, I didn't like it. I loved it. _

_I am bitter. Even more bitter than I was before. I swore almost all the time. I skipped school (ok so that wasn't a change; I skipped school in Starshollow, too). I drank and smoke none stop. I couldn't stand myself._

_A week ago, I had found myself again. Rory wouldn't like me this way. But Rory wasn't here, was she? But she could be. She's here in my mind. So here's the thing. I shaped up. Less drinking and smoking (ok so I'm whipped, no drinking and very, very little smoking- the sad part is, she's not my girlfriend). _

_Now, I'm here. I'm back in this horrible apartment. My mom is at some drunk's house. Maybe we were lucky. Maybe she's dating a drug dealer and she's getting them for free. Maybe there will be food in our house._

_Yea right. And I'm going to win the lottery. And my mother is going to stop drinking and find a good guy. Oh and I'm going to win Rory._

_But that's when strange things started to occur. When I woke up in the morning, my mother, yes my mother, was putting food away. She had just gone to the store. _

_This inspired me, after mentally calling myself stupid for a long period of time, to go buy a lottery ticket. It was one of those scratch off and see if you win tickets. I had to get three of the same numbers in order to win._

_I scratched off the first. 5. Then the second 33. Then the third. 5. Then the fourth. 32. Then the fifth. 33. Then the sixth. 5. I didn't scratch off anymore. I had just won 100 dollars!!_

_It's not the only strong thing that happened. When I returned home my mother was getting ride of all the alcohol in our apartment. She had dumped her old drunken/drug dealer boyfriend and she was going to rehab. I knew this could be like the last time... ok last times but I let my hopes sore. I had won the lottery, she had gotten ride of her beer and other drinks, and there was food in the house (did that mean she had fond a house?). _

_I was walking downtown feeling slightly better about myself (I still hated myself for hurting Rory but I was happy about the new turn in my life), when I passed a payphone. I knew Rory's number (867-5309) and I could call it, no problem. After all, I had just gotten about everything else that I had said that I wouldn't get. _

_I called her dialing the numbers slowly to stop my hands from shaking. I was feeling way to many emotions for me to handle but I wanted- no I needed to hear her voice. She picked up the phone on the second ring. I could just imagine Lorelai and Rory fighting over who had to answer the phone and the Lorelai would give some excuse about giving birth to Rory and Rory would go pick up the phone._

_We had a light conversation. She sensed that I didn't want to talk about the accident but I also wanted to know if she was ok. She sensed a lot of things like that about me. I felt happy until I realized I didn't have enough money for this call to last nearly as long as I wanted it to. _

_I said my goodbyes and hung up. But I knew, just like I knew that I had to go after the accident, just like I knew that I loved Rory, that this wasn't goodbye. No, our paths would cross again and our story would continue. _

_I would win Rory Gilmore. Because if I didn't, then I would have no life at all. She was the brightest star in the big, big galaxy and I wanted to keep her in my pocket. But the other toddler had been given the popsicle and now I had to take it._

**AN: Ok, please tell me someone got the song reference (I know I used it in my other one but... I could come up with a better number so leave me alone) and if anyone is curious about the popsicle reference my friend is has a boyfriend and there's this other guy that has a HUGE thing for her so my other friend, Alex goes she the popsicle that both toddlers want. You can't give the toddler another popsicle, they want that popsicle. And they are gonna fight for it. So it related to Gilmore Girls, except, I like the boyfriend better then the other guy in my friends case, the other guys a perv. **

**Oh and words of wisdom: if a guy stares at you for more than 30 seconds that's your cue. Go and slap him. **

**You know you want to press that button and leave a nice long review for the wonderful chapter I left (yes, I'm actually proud of this one). You know you want to. So, since I know you want to, you should do it. Cuz that seems like the reasonable thing to do. So, although some may think different, it is not that hard. Please? Please? I want to know if it sucks or not. So leave a review and let me know. I don't care if you tell me that I should delete the whole thing, I just want to know how I should improve my writing.**

**Also, to those who have been wondering, Rory will be entering the story soon, I think. I pretty sure. **

**--****  
****luv ya (duh) ****  
****~ggluver4ever101**


	10. Chapter 10

_**AN: Hey guys, I'm soo sorry it's been awhile… I have been a little distracted lately… boyfriends can do that to you… Umm… I'm going to try to make this as long as possible and try to make this the best chapter yet… please review… if I get at least 10 reviews, I'll be happy… and me being happy brings on more chapters… And just out of curiosity, how many people actually read the this author's note? You can also leave me a review telling me that… I love you all… **_

_Logan's apartment_

Rory woke up to the sound of her alarm clock and Logan groaning. She groaned back and got up, starting the coffee maker. This was her normal day… With Logan hurt she knew very little besides helping him get better. It was beginning to become a burden; although she refused to see it just yet.

She finished her morning routine and went to work, leaving Logan to sleep until Paris came to watch him. She had a pretty normal day and everything was pretty normal.

_But I don't like normal. It's too predictable. I like predictable. I like dark and mysterious._ She thought, then quickly shoved the thought out of her head. She was having a lot of these random thoughts. She loved Logan. She was happy with Logan. Right? 

She placed the key into the keyhole and opened the door. She walked into the apartment, grabbing the mail on the way. She flipped through it, lazily until she saw one from a certain black haired, dark, mysterious, leather jacket wearing boy.

It seemed that he appeared whenever she was thinking of him most. She loved and hated him for it. She quickly tore open the letter. There she found that cramped, messy handwriting that she knew all too well. She read it quickly and set it down. She had too much on her mind. She couldn't deal with this right now.

She set down her bag and began doing her homework. Trying desperately to stop thinking of Jess and failing miserably. Every second passing by brought a new wave of thought. Each thought was consumed with Jess. It was growing to the point of unbearable. She didn't like to be sucked in body and soul. She wanted her mind back.

Sighing, she left the table and went to take a shower, trying to get rid of her stress.

_Philly _

Jess sat waiting by the phone. Each second was more agonizing then the last. He couldn't focus. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He had to know. He just had to find out. He knew how he thought she was going to respond but Lorelai is her best friend. There is no one that knows her better. He couldn't stop that from raising his hope. He couldn't bring himself to stop hoping. All her could do was wait.

Matt and Chris were getting pretty annoyed with him. They were used to sarcastic, closed off Jess. This anxious and needy Jess threw them off guard. He couldn't help it, though.

_Logan's apartment_

Logan, annoyed with being ignore, got up and went to look for Rory. He walked into the kitchen and saw the opened letter. Interested, he quickly skimmed the letter. His eyes caught a few words a quickly stopped skimming and began reading. He was angry and frustrated. Why does that jerk keep reappearing in his life? Why couldn't he stay away from Rory? Couldn't he see that was Rory was happy without him? It bugged him to no end.

Just then, Rory walked out of the bathroom. Surprised to Logan up and even more surprised to see what he was holding, she jumped and began to freak out.

"You're reading my mail?" She asked, her voice a accusing tone.

"You receiving love letters from some freak who's book can't make him a dime."

"You don't know anything about Jess! And his book is better than anything you'll every write!"

"Oh, so now your defending him? Why don't you go run off with Jake, Jack, Josh, or whatever his freaking name is?"

"Maybe I will. He obviously cares for me more than you ever will. And you know what? That feeling may just be mutual. Consider it over! And don't come saying you are sorry or that you love me. I'll be back in couple of days to pick up my stuff." She screamed back, getting more and more mad with each second.

"Fine!" He screamed as the door shut and Rory ran out.

Outside the door, Rory waited for the tears to start. But they didn't. She was surprised at first but then she understood. She may have loved Logan once, but she didn't anymore. He heart had moved on. Or more like moved backward…

She knew what she was going to do. She just didn't know how yet. Although, she did know one thing. She was going to Starshollow and she was going to talk to her mother about this.

_Philly_

Jess, giving up on waiting, decided to write another chapter.

_Chapter10- She's where?_

_It was a normal day. I missed Rory. I overslept. I skipped school. I went to the park and took out a book, planning on spending my day engrossed in fictional characters. _

_I was sitting there, minding my own business when I hear a voice. I turn around to scowl at it and then it hits me. I know that voice. That voice belongs to Rory. I spin around. I catch a glimpse of her. Nothing is better than this._

_I took her around the city. I showed her the sites… We got hotdogs at a stand I normally eat at. We went to a record store. _

_It was the best day ever. _

_Just as she was about to leave, as she got on the bus, I called out to her, "Why did you come here?"_

_She responded, "You didn't say goodbye." _

"_Goodbye, Rory." I said, praying to god that this wasn't for good. _

_She came to New York. To see me! It gave me hope. I wanted so bad to run after her. I walked home. Liz was in the kitchen making something Italian._

"_Mom, can I ask you a question?"_

"_Yes?" she mumbled, adding some garlic to some sort of pasta._

"_What is love exactly?" I asked, sounding like a little boy._

"_It's a feeling that you never want to be with anyone else. It's putting them before yourself. It's wanting them to be with you every second. It having them consume every thought in your head. And so much more. It's something you just know. I can't exactly explain it." She said, he eyes closed, remembering. _

"_Oh… ok, thanks." I said, trailing off._

"_Why do you ask? Who's the lucky girl?"_

_And so I began my story. Telling her just about everything. It is the closest I've ever been with my mother. We talked for hours, eating her amazing food and talking about love. And for the first time, she looked like she was proud of me._

_**AN: How was that. It's a little Jess and Liz bonding. What do you think?? Review!!! **_


	11. Chapter 11

**An: Its been awhile; I know… I've had a lot on my mind. Lets face it; guys are confusing… that's all I have to say about why I've been so…. Forgetful about writing another chapter. Anyways, I'm writing one now, so that's all that matters, right? I'm going to try to start writing weakly again. I'm also going to try to start the squeal of my other story soon, too. Alas, I shall begin the chapter that you've all been waiting for ((that was fun to say)). **

_**Philly:**_

There was a knock on the door and Chris opened it. He say a beautiful girl he thought he recognized. _'Damn, this girl is HOTT… I wonder… Should I flirt? Or is she here for Matt? He said that he was having company. I just wasn't expecting anyone so freaking hot…'_ As he contemplating hitting on her or not, Rory decided to talking, dragging him out of his thoughts.

"Is Jess here? I really need to speak to him. I don't deserve him but I really, really want… Oh, I don't know you… This is probably really awkward for you to listen to. I mean, I've met you before, obviously because I was here before when I tried to get Jess to sleep with me to get back at Logan. And oh my god, I did NOT mean to tell you that. You must think I'm insane, rambling on and on about Jess. He's been on my mind so much. He never seems to leave it. I hate that he left in the first place-"

"He left?" Chris asked; for he was eager to learn all about Jess's mysterious past. "Tell me everything. I don't mind. Really start from when you met him and what you know about him. It really would be rather nice to unravel the mystery of all that is Jess."

"That's ok. She doesn't have to. Since when are you Dr. Phil? Last time I checked, you couldn't even name a bar." Came the all the familiar (to Rory, at least) voice of Jess.

Chris sighed, sadden by the fact he had nothing to hold jess over.

Rory gasped looking at him with a sudden want for him.

Jess looked very happy to see her. He was hoping it was in response to the letter he so desperately wrote her.

For a moment, the all stood there staring at each other. Jess and Matt were staring (open mouth on both parts) at Rory. And Rory was staring longingly at Jess.

"Umm… You wanted to see me? Why did you come this time? What his name cheat on you again?" He said, even though he had heard Rory's ramble.

Rory looked hurt and Jess immediately regretted his hurtful words. His voice softened as her said, "Why don't we go to my room and talk. It will be a lot less interrupted there."

"Ok." Rory said, hoping that Jess didn't regret his letter.

They walked up to Jess's room in silence. Both of them were nervous and excited. Rory followed Jess and began to rehearse what she was going to say. He led her through a very messy, but very book filled apartment. She admired the great book collected and looked helplessly at the mess. He went through the kitchen and into the first door on left. He opened the door and let her in. His room had queen sized bed, brown walls, junk all of over the place, and a huge book shelf.

They stood there for a minute before Rory blurted out, "Logan and I are broken up. I swear I did it this time. I've been so awful to you Jess. I don't deserve anything. Your letter… I can't explain how much it meant to me. How much it made me realize. I don't want Logan and his money. I want you, the book loving, bad-boy, leather jacket Jess. The one I love, the one I fell for sooo long ago. The one who's kept my heart through everything and the one I can't live without. I-"

But Rory got no further because Jess, delighted to here the words he'd longed for so long in the past, kissed her with all the love, anger, and passion he had kept to himself for so long. When they broke apart for air, Rory looked at him with just adoration and love that Jess would have given her the world, if she wanted it.

"That was a nice way to shut me up." She stated, slightly out of breath.

"It worked well in the past and it's nice to know, it still does now." He grinned at her.

He began to kiss her again. They both soon began to get carried away. He gently pushed her towards the bed, hoping that she knew that she didn't have to do anything. His mind flashed back to the party and even though it was all those years ago, he stopped and drew back.

"What? What is it, Jess?" She asked trying to mask the hurt in her voice.

"I just thought of the party. I know it was so long ago but I wish I'd never had done it. I hate myself for it and didn't want to do it again."

Rory laughed and moved closer to him saying, "We've both done things we weren't proud of in the past. I'm not mad, well not anymore, I was then but it's so long ago."

He gave her a quizzical look, making sure it was ok before closing the distance between them and kissing her again. He gently laid her on the bed and kissed her sweetly.

---

The next morning Jess woke up to find Rory in his arms. He was as happy as he could possibly be and couldn't ask for anything more. As she slept, he grabbed his laptop and began working on his next chapter.

_Chapter 10: Return of the Bad boy_

_I was rather surprised to find my mother encouraging me to go back. This time it wasn't because she wanted me to leave or because she couldn't handle me. This time it was because she loved me and wanted me to be happy. Things were getting on pretty well with us. I'd been open and honest and I promised I would do anything to win the love of my heart. _

_I took a bus to the place I never thought I'd return to, and as happy as I was, I was also a little nervous. _

_Luke and I had a screaming match before he let me live with him, again. I knew the old guy wanted me back. I had missed him, although I wouldn't have admitted it at the time. _

_Before I unpacked and settled in, I HAD to see Rory. I said I was going for a walk, which of course, the real reason was known by the grumpy old uncle, but not having the guts to say it, was left unsaid. _

_I found her talking to her dad. God, was I happy to see her. She was the most beautiful girl._

_She began to ramble. Asking me why I was here. I was a cocky bastard, and thought I made her nervous, always a good sign. She kept up her ramble until she pulled me into a kiss. I kissed her back, almost greedily. Until she pulled back, aware and regretting what she had just done._

"_I have to go." "Don't tell anyone." "Welcome home, Jess." Was the only response I ever got on the kiss._

_I was hurt and happy all at the same time. I could make something out of this. I had all summer long or so I thought. _

**An: Well not as long as I thought it would be but it's up! Hope you like it and please, please leave a review. It will help me respond quicker. Feedback always makes me feel good about my writing, and if I feel good about my writing then I am sure to write more! Thank you for reading**

**~GGluver4ever101**


	12. Chapter 12

AN: So sorry that I didn't update sooner but there was a family emergency and I couldn't write but here is the chapter at long last. This is taking longer than I expected and I think I will make the chapters longer until I get to the part where it is up to my imagination. But I'm just beginning the third season and I have to get to the sixth… So…

Jess could never have been happier. His life was amazing. Yes, he had gone through hell. Yes, he had been miserable. Yes, it had been hard. Yes, he had ran from it- several times. But everything he had been put through had been for a reason. And that reason, ladies and gentlemen, was Lorelei Lynn Gilmore, more commonly known as Rory.

The weekend passed quickly and soon Rory was forced to leave. But distance wouldn't keep them apart, they had proof of that already.

So they set off on their different ways knowing that the other was never far off. They kept in touch by calls and letters and emails. It was a hard relationship, never easy but still, it was the relationship that both cherished.

Jess wrote yet another chapter in his happiness and it seemed his book form, his past, and him where at the same point. Happiness. An emotion neither of them felt often . Well, the book form, his past, was quite as happy. It was only a small victory, a small victory that would lead to his happiness.

Chapter 11- Oh, the games

I had done it! She had kissed me. I was thrilled. I was thrilled. I knew she liked me. Tomorrow I would go and talk to her. And tomorrow she would leave Dean. Tomorrow we'd finally be together and tomorrow, I'd be happy.

I slept soundly, happy for what I had newly gained. Or would gain. Or thought I had gained.

I walked out towards Rory's house at 11. I hadn't seen them at the diner so I figured I'd bring the Gilmore's some coffee. And if I got a girlfriend out of that, then god speed.

I rang the doorbell.

"Come in!" Lorelei's voice rang out.

I walked in. God, let Rory reach the door before her mother.

I stood there for a couple of minutes. I felt extremely stupid.

Finally Lorelei came down.

"Do you need something? Is Luke ok?" She said starting to become panicked. "Why are you back? There can't be a good reason for this. What's gone wrong, Jess?"

"Glad to know I'm loved. Can't I come back because I want to? Do I have to do something wrong to come here? And Luke is fine. Everything, that I know of, is fine. I need to speak to Rory."

"That's why you've come back, isn't it? You want to mess her up some more." Her voice is harsh and she noticed how I winced. For whatever reason she regretted her words, maybe it was because she knew deep down I really did care for Rory.

"I never meant- I didn't want to hurt her. I hate myself for what I d-" I stopped. I couldn't continue.

"Oh, so that's why you came back, isn't it? So you can make petty amends. So you can win her over to get into her pants! She's actually starting to care about you. God, I'm afraid she'll break up with Dean for you. She doesn't get it Jess. She's so much good in you. I'm not saying there isn't. I wouldn't know. You don't let anyone in, expect her. If you care about her, if you care about her at all, then let her make this choice on her own. That's all I ask. Don't go kissing her. Don't go telling her how you feel. Let her decide. But if you don't care about her, then get the hell out of this house and the hell out of this town. If you hurt one hair on her head, know that there is a whole town ready with pitch forks. I'm not sure if that's an expression or not…" She smiled.

"So, I can't even see her?" I asked. I was being venerable around Lorelei and I knew it but I really wanted to talk to Rory but she'd have to start the conversation. She'd have to start it. Lorelei was right. I would never admit this out loud but I knew in my heart she was right.

"She's in Washington, Jess. She left this morning."

"What?" I ask. How could she do this to me? All I ever wanted was here. From the moment I laid eyes on her I was in love! God damn it! Why?

"She'll be back in a month." The loathing starts to form between us again. The niceness was only there so she could get her message across. I got the message. Now it was time for me to leave.

And that's what I did. And on my way back to the diner. Still, fuming I ran into a girl. She was pretty. Blue eyes, nowhere near the beautiful color of Rory's but still pretty. Blond hair that was done to impress. Cloths that screamed touch me. She flirted. We talked. I learned, that even if I couldn't have Rory, I could still have someone else. I needed to feel needed.

AN: What do you think. Sorry its short…


	13. Chapter 13

AN: So I haven't updated… in more than a year… this shall be interesting. Would anyone be opposed to me ending this soon? I'm sorry but… I don't think I can handle this story for any longer… it turned out much different then I had wanted in the first place… I want to finish it, but I think it'll be done in the next two to three chapters. Let me know if anyone has any serious issues with this.

"Hello?" The gruff voice on the other line asked.

"Hey, Luke."

"Something you'd like to tell me, Jess?" Luke demanded.

"Nope." Even if he wasn't seventeen anymore, he still love one word answers. They'd always given him deep satisfaction.

"Damn it, Jess! The whole town knows except for me. How the hell does that happen?"

"Um… Knows what?"

"You, Rory, your apartment. Whatever happened there. I didn't get any details; I just heard Lane and Rory talking about a wonderful night at your place. Care to explain?"

Jess smirked. The idea of Rory gossiping to Lane about a wonderful night at his place made Jess's male ego swell. He was actually happy that Rory was telling Lane about their relationship for more reasons than his ego, though. If she was openly telling her friends about them then their relationship was certainly different than it was all those years ago. It made him smile.

"How mad would you be if I said 'nope'?"

"Very." Jess could almost see Luke's face going red. He decided to cut the crap.

"Okay. It's a long story. Rory came to visit me, which you knew about. She was going to get back at her cheating boyfriend by sleeping with me but couldn't do it, for whatever reason. She then disappeared into the night and I believed that I wouldn't be seeing her until your wedding. Then I get a visit by none other than her mother. Lorelei proceeds to tell me that Rory loves me and wants to be with me but she just doesn't know it yet. So in order to help her figure it out, I was supposed to fight for her. She told me to think about what she had said and then she, too, left. I thought about it and wrote Rory a letter- if she didn't respond then I would give up, if she did I would've taken Lorelei's advice. So then Rory comes and pays me another visit and basically we got back together."

"And the sleepovers began when?" Luke demanded.

Now Jess was uncomfortable.

"Well… um. That's really none of your business."

"To hell it's not my business. Explain yourself. Now."

"Luke," Jess began. "Rory and I are both adults, we are allowed to do what we want as long as it is within the law. If we wish to have sex, then we can have sex. We're safe and will continue being safe. That's more then you need to know."

"You deflowered my soon to be step-daughter!" Luke shouted.

"No, actually, I didn't. You really are unaware." Jess sighed. "I wish it had been me, but it wasn't. You should really be having this conversation with Dean."

"Dean? So you two were… before? When you were in high school?"

"No. When Dean and Rory dated after I left they…" Jess really didn't like to think about that. He hated Dean. He simply hated Dean.

"Doesn't that, you know, bother you?" Luke asked.

"You ask a lot questions." Jess was going to leave it at that but then decided against it. "Does it bother you that Christopher was Lorelei's first and not you?"

"That's not the same!" Luke growled.

"I think it is."

"Fine." Luke huffed.

_Chapter 12- My, oh, my. _

_Time passed. I tormented Rory with Shane and eventually pushed her to the edge. Dean broke up with Rory and we started dating. It was amazing. She was amazing. _

_But I was an idiot. I stopped attending school so I could work at Walmart. Freaking Walmart of all places. I flunked my senior year. I couldn't take her to the prom. I pressured her until she'd had enough. I had failed Rory. _

_My father showed up. I fought with Luke. I followed my father. It was stupid. I followed the man who wanted only to forget and left behind the girl I'd always love. _

_Dumbass. _


End file.
